2. Hotwife Lexicon

If someone had shouted to me twelve months ago, “hey there hotwife!” I would have taken it to be a compliment about my appearance. Fast forward a year and I now know it to have a very different meaning. During the relatively short period of time I have been involved in the ‘wife sharing’ kink, I have experienced many ‘firsts’ – that I will later go on to describe in this blog – One of the initial tasks I had to undertake, was to learn the hidden meanings behind three seemingly innocent creatures: the Vixen, Stag and Bull.

According to the Urban Dictionary, a hotwife is…

A married woman who has the freedom in her marriage to pursue sexual relationships with men other than her husband. Her husband has full knowledge of her activities and consents to them.

… but it soon became apparent that it is so much more than this. Words such as cuckold, slut, vixen, and madam, were all terms I believed I knew the meaning of. I had heard them in everyday life, studied them in terms of Shakespeare as a student and I must confess, used as a slur in moments of anger.

Vixen

I have always had a great fondness for foxes so was particularly pleased when my husband informed me that in my new role, I would be referred to as a Vixen. As pleasant as this revelation was, my reaction was why? Foxes have connotations of slyness and cunning – this wasn’t an attribute I wanted to be associated with or to bring to my marriage. I can only assume therefore, that the term is one in relation to the silver screen vixens of yesteryear; where the actresses exuded sex appeal and confidence, yet in a highly elegant and sophisticated manner. One thing I can certainly say from my recent ‘dalliances,’ is that I have never felt more sexy or confident in my life.

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My arrangement with my husband is that I may sleep with whoever I wish, as long as I return and share my adventures and where possible, video/picture evidence of the encounter. His ultimate fantasy is watching me perform with my lover in person. At this moment in time, I lovingly refer to him as my PA, for thus far, all of my ‘lovers’ have been sourced through him. More on that later 😉

Stag

In a wifesharing or hotwifing scenario, the husband is referred to as the Stag. Unlike the image of the vixen, the stag has a more obvious symbolism to it – the Cuckold. If like me, you have ever searched the internet for information on wifesharing, you would have most certainly stumbled across the fetish of cuckolding due to its close similarities and connections to hotwifing. On first impressions, this was not an avenue I wanted to stumble down, as rooted in cuckolding is denial and humiliation. Whilst this emotional masochism may appeal to some – I am merely sharing my own personal opinion – it was not something that I wanted to inflict on my husband – something we were both agreed on! I love a bit of sexual teasing, but to go as far as to deny the man I love was something I was not comfortable with at all.

In our hotwifing scenario, the Stag experiences sexual arousal from the idea of me flirting, dating and ultimately performing sexual acts with other men. As with the Cuckolding kink, jealousy plays a key part in the experience. However, where a Cuck husband may feel ashamed and humiliated and sexualise these emotions, a Stag instead feels an even greater urge and desire to to be with his wife. In the event of ‘reclaiming’ me back for himself, my husband approaches it with, ‘the harder they fuck you, the harder I need to fuck you back’, attitude and I can certainly say, I’m not going to complain about that.

Bull

And so I come to the part where I share with you, my understanding of the role of the Bull in our hotwifing arrangement. The role of the Bull, as it is in Cuckolding, is in simple terms, to come into a relationship and take sexual ownership over another man’s wife at their invitation. In even simpler terms, the Bull comes to fuck the wife. When I first learned of the animal imagery connected to hotwifing, the mental image of a literal Bull screwing a Vixen caused great concern and distress. Was a hunking great alpha male, with a cock the size of a wine bottle, going to enter our previously ‘vanilla’ marital bed, leaving my body and married life in pieces?! For some this Spartan like creature may be a very welcomed individual but in my experience so far, the Bulls have been regular men, albeit selected by my Stag for their physique and my own personal taste.

Regardless of what a particular Vixen is looking for, all Bulls have something in common: they are ultimately men looking for a no strings relationship that includes all the fun and excitement of the ‘honeymoon period’ of dating, without the commitment and emotional baggage. By inviting the Bull into our relationship, I can certainly say that I have been able to experience the thrill and excitement of cheating without hurting anyone. In fact, I can honestly say that my sex life with both my ‘herd’ and my Stag, has never been more intense, spontaneous and fulfilling!